Eddie Calvert - 'Cherry Pink (And Apple Blossom White)'
27th May, 1955 (4 weeks)
"This version of a French song, "Cerisier Rose et Pommier Blanc" from 1950, reached number 1 for Mexican conductor and King of Mambo, Perez Prado in 1955.
'Older' Was That Really At Number 1? readers may remember some more of Perez Prado's music appearing in a 'quite popular' advert campaign from 1995, which subsequently saw said song ('Guaglione') reach Number 2 in the UK charts.
Maybe there should be a sister site, Was That Only at Number 2?..."
Oh, wait, this is a different version of the song, by Eddie Calvert? Well this should just be relabeled as 'when cover versions are deeply lazy and unimaginative', then.
Perez Prado & his Orchestra - 'Cherry Pink (and Apple Blossom)'
29th April, 1955 (2 weeks)
This version of a French song, "Cerisier Rose et Pommier Blanc" from 1950, reached number 1 for Mexican conductor and King of Mambo, Perez Prado in 1955.
'Older' Was That Really At Number 1? readers may remember some more of Perez Prado's music appearing in a 'quite popular' advert campaign from 1995, which subsequently saw said song ('Guaglione') reach Number 2 in the UK charts.
Maybe there should be a sister site, Was That Only at Number 2?...
Gravel-voiced Ernest Jennings Ford, aka Tennessee Ernie Ford, scored his first UK Number 1 with Give Me Your Word.
Tennessee Ernie Ford's voice is a nice break from the sugar-fueled, milkshake bar pop music of the previous entries at number 1. Unfortunately, this song just fails to show off what Ford was actually capable of vocally. Fortunately, Ford was able to develop his style, becoming a very clear influence on modern country & western music (something that never really took off in Britain) and his signature tune - Sixteen Tons - would be another hit for Ford in early 1956.
Famous aunt Rosemary made a welcome return to the top of the chart in 1955 with her second Number 1 after 'This Ole House'. She stayed there for 3 non-consecutive weeks with the now well-known song Mambo Italiano ('younger' readers may remember Shaft's remix from 2000 reaching number 12 in the charts, though versions by Dean Martin and Bette Midler also exist).
The song was written by Bob Merrill - of 'How Much Is That Doggy In The Window' hatefulness - under a very strict deadline, scribbled on the back of a napkin in an Italian restaurant, scoring approximately 0% on the 'Incredible Coincidences-o-Matic'.
Below is Rosemary Clooney strutting her stuff to Mambo Italiano:
Dickie Valentine was one of the most successful of the British 'big band' singers - he was even voted the top British male vocalist in 1954 after he went solo and here he is, topping the UK charts for the first time at the start of 1955 with the first of his two Number 1s.
It's easy to see why he was so popular with his wining smile, trademark look & sound and captivating performance style; and despite only having two Number 1s, he did also have a run of other memorable songs to chart, such as 'Mr Sandman' and 'Teenager in Love'.
But ultimately Dickie Valentine's place here at the top of the charts in 1955 - the year that rock n' roll really took off - is quite fitting. Representing the vanguard of a sound that had become old, that was already of the past - that was soon to be replaced by Bill Haley & The Comets as the wave of rock n' roll swept over the nation.
In the meantime, however, there were no good videos of this song available. So here's Dickie Valentine performing 'King Of Dixieland' in 1958 and you'll soon see why he was so popular.
Dear Was That Really At Number 1? readers, it's time for a small side-note.
Ok, so, bare with me on this one. As the UK charts entered 1955, a new chart sprang up. Now, original and the one we've been following, was the New Musical Express chart. But the contender to the throne, launched on 22nd January 1955, was the Record Mirror chart.
By and large the results are fairly similar with a few exceptions, which, if worthy, will be noted.
However, in the interests of continuity we will be sticking with the New Musical Express chart for this period, because the Record Mirror chart would stop making their own independent charts in 1962 and the New Musical Express chart was the chart that became part of the Official Charts Company's records.
This arrangement will only stand until 1960, when the Record Retailer chart will take over, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Phew, that's that out of the way. I hope you've enjoyed what you've seen so far, and I hope you enjoy what you will get to see in the future.
Winifred Atwell, the first black person to reach the top of the UK charts, became the 3rd UK Christmas Number 1 in 1954 with the follow up to her previous hit 'Let's Have A Party'.
On stage, Atwell was charming, warm and dazzled with her skills at the piano. No wonder she became a star in an austere, post-War Britain - she once performed a private show for Queen Elizabeth and was personally called back for an encore by the monarch herself.
American singer Rosemary Clooney - aunt of some chap named George - scored her first UK Number 1 towards the end of 1954 with her version of This Ole House. Her popularity had been boosted earlier in the year by starring in the classic film alongside Bing Crosby (who would recall her as 'the best in the business').
Much as this song makes you smile when you listen to it, it was a 'bit' misunderstood by Clooney - a mistake that Was That Really At Number One? readers will see repeated by Shakin' Stevens in the 1980s. The song, written by Stuart Hamblen, is actually intended as an epitaph for a dead man he found in a dilapidated old house, miles from civilization whilst out hunting with his friend John Wayne...
But sod all that misery. Feel free to bop away to this one:
Vera Lynn, aka, The Troops' sweetheart - As British as Doctor Who and a bowler hat - scored her only UK number 1 towards the end of her height as a recording artist.
Fondly remembered by many as a symbol of plucky British morale during The War, Vera Lynn is greatly remembered for songs such as 'We'll Meet Again', 'The White Cliffs Of Dover' and 'Auf Wiederseh'n Sweetheart' often used as morale boosters on her tours for British troops during WWII. Of course, it's this that gives Dame Vera Lynn that special place in the British psyche.
Placing aside my usual flippant and slightly condescending attitude, Vera Lynn is truly a special force in the history of UK music. The direct impact of her legacy may not be as obvious as The Beatles or The Smiths. But as an icon, as a concept - to this day - she manages to sum up an attitude that the British hold about themselves (rightly or wrongly). She is the embodiment of the British blitz spirit: the musical version of a cup of tea and the personification of our 'keep calm and carry on' attitude.
And that makes it a shame that this was her only UK Number 1. It's not a bad song, but it's not one of her greats. Had there been a British music charts in the 1940s, it's pretty much a given she would have achieved a lot more than this sole entry at Number 1: Auf Wiederseh'n Sweetheart made her the first British act to top the charts in America, for no less than 9 weeks.
But her impact on Britain as a country was remembered once again when she returned to the top in 2009 with her number 1 album 'We'll Meet Again: The Very Best of Vera Lynn', making her career in music one of the longest in British history. And bloody good for her, I say.
Following on from Frank Sinatra, Don Cornell reached Number 1 with 'Hold My Hand', which was another song from a film, this one called 'Susan Slept Here'.
Here is Susan (aka, one Debbie Reynolds - wife of previous Was That Really At Number 1? topic Eddie Fisher) listening to Hold My Hand on the good old fashioned wireless box:
This song was actually beaten by Frank Sinatra's 'Three Coins In The Fountain' for the 1954 Academy Award for Best Original Song. Whereas I blogged on the importance of that win for Sinatra's profile (and I certainly won't recant on it), it's a shame in many ways, because I actually prefer this song.
As one of the biggest stars of all time, he was bound to pop up at some point. Frank Sinatra scored his first UK Number 1 with the theme song from 'Three Coins In The Fountain', imaginatively entitled, 'Three Coins In The Fountain'.
The film tells the story of three American girls looking for romance in Rome whilst in the employ of the American Embassy. The song itself would go on to win best original song at the Academy Awards.
Please excuse the Portuguese, it was the best available video. Use it as a Portuguese lesson. Or something. Educational and fun, that's what I strive for.
To compare the song directly to Doris Day's 'Secret Love', the previous winner of the Oscar for Best Original Song, I'd have to say they're both pretty dull and neither of them stand out as being anything 'special'. But I'm just some guy with a blog, Sinatra is one of the biggest names of all time, so what do I know.
The song along with his own personal Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 1953, did, however, help to relaunch Sinatra's flagging career in the mid-50s after his massive success in the 1940s. So much as I think it's a fairly tame song that doesn't really match some of Sinatra's other standards, it's still none-the-less an important song in keeping Sinatra up at the top. And Without Sinatra there'd be no, erm... Michael Bublé? On a more serious note, 1953/54 was an important turning point in re-energising a stalled career as it led to the sustained career of a man who has had an influence on pop culture that few can touch. Michael Bublé is just one (unfortunate) side effect of that.
Rings a bell? No? Wondering just who is this Kitty Kallen? Good question. She's a nobody. But one of the most important nobodies in the history of the UK chart. The first of many. The ennobler of a rich tradition of popular UK music. The trailblazer for a varied history of people who nearly were, but never would.
Yes, Kitty Kallen, who, in 1954, reached Number 1 with Little Things Mean A Lot, is officially the first UK One Hit Wonder. An honour as prestigious as coming last in Eurovision with nul points.
A one hit wonder can only be scored by someone who releases one single and then never charts again (according to the Guinness Book of World Records) and, using this definition, Kitty Kallen was the first person to achieve the (slightly dubious) honour in the UK.
For the American Kitty Kallen, her sole song to chart in the UK came at just the wrong time. She had been popular across the Atlantic throughout the 1940s, singing with a string of big bands. But there was no UK single's chart in the 1940s and, alas, this genre wasn't what it once was and Kallen was unable to sustain her star power and translate it in to a chart career in the UK.
But, in a way, being the UK's first one hit wonder probably gives her a more special legacy.
And after poor old Johnnie Ray, it's back to a more familiar sounding style now.
David Whitfield & Mantovani - both previous chart-toppers in their own rights - combined like pre-rock n roll Power Rangers to create the first UK number 1 single to top the charts consecutively for 10 weeks. 6 And only the third artists to achieve the coveted Gold Single for single sales.
As I posted on his last number 1, I really can't stand David Whitfield's voice. It's like pouring acid down your ears. Though his diet opera style matches Mantovani's light orchestra style. I won't deny that much.
Johnnie Ray scored a number 1 single at the end of April 1954 with his single 'Such A Night'.
Johnnie Ray is often cited as someone who paved the way for Rock N' Roll to come along. From Such A Night, it's easy to see how Ray's jazz and blues stylings led to rock n' roll. It's a very catchy, upbeat song and you can hear the almost prototype matching beats and energetic performance that would later be popularised by Bill Haley. Even his stage act had those now stereotyped hallmarks, such as beating up his piano and writhing about on the floor. No wonder the man was a teen idol.
Testament to this legacy is that The King himself - Elvis Presley - recorded a version of this number.
(apologies for the poor video - it was the best I could find).
I'd always wondered "just who is Johnnie Ray?" after hearing the name in the Dexy's Midnight Runners song 'Come on Eileen' (a UK number 1 from 1983), which opens with the refrain of "Poor old Johnnie Ray, sounded sad upon the radio, moved a million hearts in mono" and features clips of him in the video. So it was nice to put character to a face. And what a character.
Sex scandals? Alcohol abuse? Destroying musical instruments? Throngs of screaming teenage girls? Sounds familiar? Well this is where it begins. The parallels between his music being a precursor for rock n' roll with his lifestyle being similar are just too brilliant to not mention. He was an alcoholic. He was a closet bisexual, twice arrested for soliciting sex from men. He had affairs newspaper columnists (female) and his manager (male). Johnnie Ray managed to set an important benchmark in musical stylings as well as the life style of the rock n roll star.
Of course he wasn't the first, nor was he the worst, but that's not really the point. It's all down to the fact that it was all tied together by the music that makes Johnnie Ray an important tipping point in popular music.
Doris Day - the highest ranking female box office star of all time - managed to interrupt (alas, only briefly) The Stargazers' hateful second Number 1 with the Academy Award winning Secret Love from the film 'Calamity Jane', based on the real life prostitute of the same name. Alas, it didn't stop it entirely.
Here is Doris herself, singing Secret Love after she realises it was Wild Bill Hickok that she loved all along. Reputedly, this scene was recorded in just one take.
Personally, I don't see why this song won an Oscar. It's ok. It's certainly not as awful as the last Number 1. It's a bit of an exercise in blandness though. I can understand it reaching Number 1 on the success of Calamity Jane and the stratospheric popularity of Doris Day. Then again, Phil Collins, whose music is the definition of bland, has won an Oscar for his work on film soundtracks, so that whole award can be struck off from having anything approaching taste.
They're back. The first band in this countdown that I really disliked. It's fair to say they've not got any better...
The "Let the little lady with the tambourine sing..." part is the most irritating part of it all. I'm sure it was supposed to be funny. I'm sure at the time people found it funny. Or at least enough people found it funny to make it a Number 1 single for a cumulative total of 6 weeks. I'm also sure lots of people in 1954 hated it as well. And that brings me a bit of comfort out of this whole sorry, sorry affair.
Trumpeter Eddie Calvert scored a number 1 for 8 weeks with his version of the well-known song 'Oh Mein Papa'.
This song actually has a pretty special claim to fame - it was the first UK number 1 single to be recorded at the 'slightly famous' Abbey Road studios.
I said 'Answer Me' would be back before you knew it! Making its second appearance at number 1, this time recorded by Frankie Laine, making his 3rd appearance in this position for 1953:
Not content with having the biggest selling single of 1953, Mr Rawhide claimed the 1953 Christmas Number 1 as well with his version of the previous number 1 single. The first (but not only) time a number 1 would be removed by another version of the same song.
Which ties in nicely with the common theme of number 1 singles being a snap shot of popularity, not necessarily cultural trends. Multiple versions of the same version of a song appearing in the charts is still going to this day - the best example probably being the battle for Christmas number 1 2008 between Alexandra Burke and Jeff Buckley, which was of course well and truly won by X-Factor's Alexandra Burke. But more on that 'a bit later on'.
As a song though, I much prefer this version to David Whitfield's. Frankie Laine's voice is much rawer and charged with emotion, lending a greater poignancy to the song over the irritating operatic style of Whitfield.
David Whitfield was launched to number 1 on the 6th November 1953 with his version of 'Answer Me, My Love' by the strength of a predominately female fan-base.
Interestingly, this song was originally banned by the BBC. Not because Whitfield was a satanic anti-Christ prone to abusing his female fanbase (though imagine the scandal), but because the BBC didn't approve of the original religious connotations. It was actually being directed at God, called 'Answer Me, Lord Above' asking why the poor old chap's lover had left. So Aunty Beeb slapped it with the 'banned' label. Considering how much the BBC gets attacked by 'certain right wing news outlets' for being too politically correct under this government, it's interesting to see they've probably been making the same claims for the past 60 years.
Anyway, a re-recorded version was released with new lyrics directing the song at the lover themselves and cutting out the middle man, if you will, and got to number 1, so here it is:
Personally, I've never really understood the sheer financial power of the young girl market (perhaps that's why I never get any dates. Well, that and I sit at a computer writing blogs about Number 1 singles rather than actually, erm... talking to people). I think this is another example of this lack of understanding. To me, listening to Whitfield's voice is as pleasant as rubbing your ear against sandpaper. Yet he still managed to be very popular. Go figure.
This song itself, however, will pop up again very very soon...
Frankie Laine scored his second number 1 with 'Hey Joe' in October 1953.
After the massive success of 'I Believe', this is a slightly less successful number for Frankie Laine. Though that was always inevitable as I Believe was a mega-hit for the man often billed as having 'steel tonsils'. The song itself is an upbeat number, about chasing the same girl his friend is courting. Or whatever term was used in the 1950s. I like the idea that it was courting.
As a side note, Frankie Laine also sang the tune to Rawhide.
the 11th of September and Frankie Laine's run at number 1 is ended by Guy Mitchell scoring his second number 1 single with 'Look At That Girl'.
Guy Mitchell is back and singing about girls again. The swine. Though it's less of a novelty record about London Bankers this time and bit more in the big band swing style.
'Guy Mitchell' was just a stage name for Mr Albert George Cernik - an American of Croatian descent. It came about as a result of Columbia Records executive (and producer of this song) Mitch Miller, deciding that Cernik seemed a nice 'guy' and his own name was Mitch. Et voila, Guy Mitchell the superstar was born.
Mantovani & His Orchestra - 'The Song From Moulin Rouge (Where Is Your Heart)'
14th August, 1953 (1 Week)
The second song to hit Number 1, temporarily interrupting Frankie Laine was the mononymous Mantovani & his Orchestra.
And now for something a little bit different, as they say:
The song originally appeared in the 1952 film 'Moulin Rouge' starring José Ferrer and Zsa Zsa Gabor, sung by Muriel Smith with Gabor lip-synching - though it would be Mantovani's version that would score the biggest chart success in the UK.
The first song to break Frankie Laine's run at Number 1 was the second entry for the future Mr Elizabeth Taylor, Eddie Fisher. As his first number 1 was 'Outside Of Heaven' on the 30th January in the same year, Eddie Fisher became the first act to score 2 Number 1 singles.
Considering the amount of time 'I Believe' would have otherwise spent at number 1, I feel a bit cheated out of that milestone by this utter snoozefest of a song. Below par, Eddie Fisher. Below par. Try harder next time.
Except there won't be a next time for the man who divorced his wife to marry his best friend's widow. At least, not another chance at number 1. By 1959, Fisher would see his television show - and his main source of publicity - cancelled due to a large amount of acrimonious press coverage following his divorce from Debbie Reynolds to marry Elizabeth Taylor.
Frankie Laine scored a phenomenal hit with 'I Believe'. Despite not being consecutive, it reigned at the top for 18 weeks. As a comparison, the current record holder, Bryan Adams, is 16 weeks. Without being broken - for a week's length each time - the song would have scored 20 weeks at number 1. It goes without saying then, that this record was the biggest selling single of 1953
In the time that this song was Number 1, Queen Elizabeth II was crowned Queen of the United Kingdom, Mount Everest was climbed and, for the first time in 19 years, England won the Ashes.
The song has, of course, since become a well known standard and has been covered by the likes of Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley and errr.... Robson and Jerome. Though considering the massive success of the song on this, its original UK Charts outing, I guess you can't really blame Simon Cowell for sticking his oar in as well.
In many ways it's a shame that this song didn't reach the full 20 weeks at number 1. That would have been a very impressive standard to set for all future records to follow. It would be easy to say at this point "Oh, it'll never happen again", which would be something I would totally disagree with. I mean, that's a bit insulting to today's youth - it was in 2008 that 'Umbrella' was at Number 1 for 10 weeks, becoming only the 5th song to break 10 weeks consecutively. It just takes the right song.
Clearly this was the right song at the right time, as it will be again.
Lita Roza - '(How Much Is) That Doggie In The Window?' 17th April, 1953 (1 week)
Yes. You read that right. This song was actually a Number 1 hit.
I did say a few posts ago that there was some unbearable songs coming up. This is but the first of many. A theme that I've hinted at several times is that chart music has never exactly reflected music trends. That's the problem when you're judging the music tastes of a nation with effectively one snapshot from each week: it's only rarely that someone special comes along who catches what tastemakers would term the zeitgeist of an era and makes it critically and, more importantly (for the purpose of this blog at least) commercially successful. For every Madonna how many Tiffanys are there?
So, for my disdain of this song, I won't post a link up to it out of principle. Ok, actually, that's a lie. I just can't find a copy of it anywhere to post. But whatever, I can pretend to have principles about these sorts of things. In the meantime, here is a picture of Lita Roza (not the same, I know, I know, I'm sorry) the Liverpudlian purveyor of songs about puppies. The first person from Liverpool to get a UK Number 1 single. I've heard a few rumours there might be one or two more number 1s from that city... (at the time I write this, I believe it's 57, if you're interested).
The Stargazers scored the next number 1 hit on the 10th April 1953 with their song 'Broken Wings'. The first number 1 for a group was also the first of two Number 1 songs for the band.
This is really the first number 1 that I have actively disliked. It sounds like elevator muzak. Vile.
Further to this, my disdain was compounded when I saw that the band were awarded the NME 'Group Of The Year' award for 5 years running. 50 years have passed and I still disagree with what the NME has to say.
Guy Mitchell had the next number 1 single in the UK with She Wears Red Feathers, the tale of a London Banker's love for a hula girl.
This video is something different - I thought it was a bit more interesting than the usual 'slide show to music'. It's from a short film from Universal featuring Guy Mitchell himself performing She Wears Red Feathers and Feet Up! Which was, in fact, the first ever UK number 2 single, missing out to Al Martino.
So, she wears red feathers and a hula-hula skirt and eats cocynuts fish feeerom the sea (I hear 'they're greeeeeeat', anyone?) and gets a London Banker to fall in love with her. Call me a cynic, but he's probably only doing it so he can be a non-dom. Though I think that probably reaches a point where it stops being romantic. Or funny.
Of all the songs so far, this one has stood out to me, despite being very much in the same vein of one singer and their orchestra as the previous singles. It manages to come close to novelty, but doesn't cross the line in to being unbearable - unlike some of the songs coming up...
Perry Como - 'Don't Let The Stars Get In Your Eyes'
6th February 1953 (5 weeks)
Aaaah, good old Perry Como. A pioneer of the classic musical variety television shows of the era. Of course, he was going to pop up soon!
So here he is. Shaking his swing thing.
Como has a very pleasant voice. It's clear why he became very popular (and I imagine his dashing Italian-American good looks probably helped). Though this song has very familiar sounding brass, the lyrics are somewhat apart from the vaguely novelty sound of the songs he is possibly more famous for.
I won't make any bones about the fact that this early chart music isn't something I'm very up on, though I have always had an awareness of Perry Como - probably because his popularity was, at the time, unrivaled. In many ways, that makes it quite sad that he isn't remembered in the same way as the likes of Sinatra. One would imagine that's because Como managed to live in the public eye for 50 years scandal and rumour free. It's hard to imagine that being allowed to happen now. It was a different planet, as they say.
Interestingly, this song was released in Germany as a double A-side with the UK's previous number 1 single, by Eddie Fisher. Anything beats a dance remix, right?
For what was only the 4th single to top the UK charts it is the turn of another American, Eddie Fisher, one of Elizabeth Taylor's seven husbands (though that would be a further 7 years in to the future), with 'Outside Of Heaven'.
Musically, the Pleasantville Soundtrack continues. Of course, this was always going to be the case, I mentioned in my previous post, the charts don't always represent the reality of what's happening in popular music and the majority of the world won't be ready for rock n roll until Bill Haley & his Comets blast along in 1955. Even if it does seem to start a trend for grammatically incorrect pop song titles...
Not that those fact renders this music unlistenable. Far from it, in fact. Simon Cowell could do a lot worse than looking this far back when selecting songs for the next X Factor Big Band week.
Kay Starr became the third recording artist to have a UK number 1 single with her version of Comes A-Long A-Love.
The song marks a more uptempo number than the previous two, but still very much in the same 'jazz-pop-big band' stylings of the pre-rock n roll 1950s and very much captures the zeitgeist of what was then modern chart music (which doesn't always reflect popular culture of the era - after all, this is a trip through the charts, rather than a trip through defining genres of music).
This song was not as popular as one of Kay Starr's previous hits, 'Wheel of Fortune' - but again, further proof that nothing in pop music is new: there are countless similar examples of artists throughout the past 50 years whose songs considered their 'biggest' today weren't necessarily their most immediately commercial success stories.
The second UK number 1 single and the first by a female vocal artist: Girl Power!
The song is a reminder to a lover that no matter where they are, or what amazing sights of the world they see, they still belong to the singer. Though it manages to come down on the good side of the ‘romantic song/Sting-penned ballad about stalking’ divide. It’s the sort of thing you can imagine playing on a jukebox in the background of a milkshake bar/diner. Or on the soundtrack to Pleasantville.
I was thinking about making another Michael Buble joke here – the song is prime Buble-bashing material after all and I do have quite the acute dislike for the Canadian crooner. Then I saw that he is one of a myriad artists (including Carla Bruni!) who have actually done a version of this song. So I guess the joke’s on me, really.
The first UK number 1 and as result, one of the most important songs in chart history: stayed there for an impressive 9 weeks (a feat only topped 5 times in nearly 60 years) and as a result also became the first Christmas number 1 as well.
As for the song itself, it’s pretty much the warbling balladeer number that was very much of its time. The subject topic is a familiar one ‘here in my heart I’m alone and so lonely, here in my heart I just yearn for you only’, I have a feeling that’ll be a topic popping up again and again and again. And again. Clearly, musically, there is a long road to be travelled down - this is most definitely of a pre-rock n roll era (even if lyrically not much has changed in 50 years). Though having said that, I can imagine Michael Buble doing a cover of this today…
One night coming up to New Year, in what was more likely than not a 'slightly inebriated' state I declared I was sick to the back teeth of crap New Year's Resolutions: "I'm going to lose weight", "I'm going to give up smoking" and so on. No, you're not, you're always going to be fat and at a high risk of cancer. So why not do something more fun, I thought to myself. Why not do something totally useless and that will in no way better you as a person but do it just because it's fun. Hell, whilst you're at it you could jump on to this blogging malarky and tell the world (or the few random people who stumble across it) your thoughts on the history of the UK charts.
So here it is. My New Year's Resolution. In all its pomp and self-satisfied sarcasm. I hope anyone who reads this will gain some sort of pleasure from it, if not produce a full blown laugh. At the very least you could always think 'well hey, at least I'm not as sad as that douchebag'.
